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Linda, Bravo Dear Linda! Questioning "God" is a 24/7/365 process for every being I've ever encountered. I could be wrong but such questioning often serves one well to look inward and ask essential questions, which taken over time, extracts answers you seek. There is an old gate we all eventually reach if we follow the path of the seeker; you appear to be walking upon that path: "You've got to find your question in life." ... Your "question in life" is the doggedly determined answer to what is it you really seek? Once you come to grips (usually privately) with asking this question of yourself, you will probably reach the answer very soon thereafter. That deeply personal answer you emote from within yourself, will alter your entire perspective on everything thereafter. How does this process work? How will you know when you find "your question"? Try this. When you bed down at night and say your prayers or what ever you do to relax, insert this question or something similar: Please guide me in my dreams to understand what it is I need to learn in this life. Help me find those answers. Then keep a dream log. Write down your dreams. The more desperate you really are to resolve finding your question, the more revealing the experiences tend to become in bringing you your answer. Here is an example: http://tinyurl.com/b8k2qcu Ignore "fanatics instructing you what to believe and how" and trust your own intuitions.
A New Beginning --- http://youtu.be/hlfYHAV1i8w